Stepping out of your comfort zone is a big step in a person’s life. People react differently to change. Small changes like moving your bedroom or reading a different book to big changes like cutting your long hair short or moving to a new town. Change is change. In my case, lastly mentioned was my big change. I stepped into the the so-called “student life” at the beginning of if this year. I should mention that I am a person that are very close to my family and being away from them for a while is not for me. (I’ve been like this since a little girl and will probably be like this until the day I take my last breath.)
So the first week was fun. It was an orientation week where we had a lot of social activities planned to get to know the town and the people you study with. My best friend and I share an apartment walking distance from the campus and everything we need is within walking distance of our flat. Then the second week came and reality set in… I had to deal with being away from home for 5 days a week, not eating mom’s food and not sleeping in a familiar place. And this was really hard for me.
I’ve never experienced a panic attack and I personally think that it differs from person to person. Shortness of breath, constant crying, and a loss of appetite was what my day consisted of. I struggled to make friends and didn’t want to be alone. I scared myself because I knew that this is not the person I was and I needed to change my mindset towards this change. Because it is here and nothing I can do would change the situation. I knew that it will be okay and I knew that it will get better, but just not at that time.
So I started to talk with other girls in my class and soon realized that this was my kind of people. We are a group of 6 who are constantly together. A few days ago when I was busy doing some work, I stopped and realized that I AM OKAY. I’ve embraced this change and are comfortable with where I am today. Yes, I still miss home, and mom’s food and my own bed, but the exciting thing is that I know at the end of the week, I would be having all three of those things.
I started jogging to release stress and tension and started playing hockey for the university. This keeps me busy and my mind going which helps me not to over-think this new environment.
In this past month I have learned more about myself that I did in the nineteen years I am alive. I’ve learned that sometimes it is okay not to be okay. I’ve learned that you need to have a good supporting system. I’ve learned that if you choose to think positively, positive things will happen. And the most important thing that I have learned was that God is ALWAYS there. No matter what your situation is, He provides and He cares and has an unconditional love for YOU.
So this is it: my first month as a college student and how it treated me.
What kept me going was a wise person’s words during this time:”You are at rock bottom. Nothing could be worse than this. From now on, things can only go upwards.” And it did. If you BELIEVE it will go well, it will. You are stronger than you think you are.
Till we meet again.
Love & light